I’M ENGAGED!…And now what?

Ah, the feeling after you get engaged. It’s a giddiness that I hadn’t ever experienced before, like nothing in the world can wipe the smile off your face. Every chance you get, you are stealing a glance at the new rock on your finger, gleaming at your new fiance, or posing with your ring finger as the center of attention. You begin discussing your fantasy wedding plans with your fiance, thanking friends and family left and right for the well wishes and congratulatory messages, and hopefully, embracing every moment of being on cloud 9. But, then what?

Once the original shock and euphoria settles down, the questions from eager friends, families, co-workers, acquaintances, etc. begin to flow in, almost on que. When’s the date? Where are you getting married? Have you started planning? Whose in the wedding? Where are you going on your honeymoon?

Honeymoon, really?! But, friends and family are often as excited as you are to hear the news and to think about the wedding ahead. And as much as you want to provide them with the answers they are looking for, even if you’ve planned your wedding day out in your head and (think) you know exactly what you want, in these initial moments you probably do not. Wedding planning takes time, it takes some serious commitment and decision making. But more importantly, you do NOT want to stop enjoying your engagement.

When my fiance and I returned from Maui, I tried so hard to take some time to breathe, to enjoy my engagement and time with my new to-be-hubby. But, being a planner and an overly-eager bride-to-be, I almost immediately began messaging different venues that I had in mind to try to get touring appointments on the books, try to collect some price information and inquire about specific dates I had in mind. As information began to roll in and my calendar began to fill up with appointments, I was suddenly feeling incredibly overwhelmed and anxious. While I thought I was being strategic in setting up tours and appointments over a month from when I had inquired, this only heightened my anxious feels and was even driving me to sleepless nights. Numbers, ideas, possibilities all began to float through my head constantly, and I was losing the enjoyment I had felt when I first got engaged. Mini meltdowns were happening, I was spending hours upon hour researching venues trying to gather as much information as I could, coming up with full itinerary plans and possibilities based on my initial curiosities. I needed a serious chill pill…

So, maybe you don’t have as hyper-intense personality as I do. Maybe you can embrace the idea of waiting, brushing off questions and truly sticking to a plan of enjoying your engagement. Maybe not, maybe your just-as if not more as eager and impatient than me. My serious advice to you is to just wait. I quickly learned that it is much more important to actually enjoy your time engaged. There is no rush. Having recently gone through it, I understand that you want to be able to confidently answer the questions, know exactly how you are going to move forward with your fantasy wedding plans. But, it will take away from the fun. Take a month or two before jumping in to setting anything. Brainstorm ideas with your partner, figure out things that are most important to each of you about your big day. If you are anything like me, no matter what you originally thought may actually end up being a 180-degree opposite from what you end up deciding on.

So what’s the point of pre-plan stressing? Your engagement is going to be a whirlwind of excitement, stresses, hopefully many more ups than downs. But it’s the only engagement you will likely ever have. And it is a time that should be cherished. So, slow down, take a few deep breaths and proudly say, “I/We don’t know yet,” as the questions flood the gates. Take as long as you want or need to with these answers. Remember, this is the only chance you’ve got, the most stress-free time of the next year or two of your life. If I could do that month over, I would. And as I move into month two of being engaged and begin to really narrow down on the exact vision and floor plan for our big day, I can only look back and laugh at how crazy I let myself get, because all of the things I stressed about are no longer even a consideration or thought in my mind.

So, deep breath, big smile, and “I don’t know!” because in reality, you shouldn’t.

#GettingMaui’d

It’s the moment that every girl dreams about, one of the biggest most life-altering moments of your life. If you are anything like me, you’ve dreamed about hundreds of ways that the man of your dreams might ask the question. Will it be in a gondola in Venice? Will it be looking across the river at the glimmering New York skyline? Maybe at a sporting event, with your names displayed across the massive jumbotron and him down on one knee next to you. I let these scenarios run through my head since I was a little girl. And in the end, for me, the night was as magical and special as I had ever imagined.

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On July 23, 2017, my now fiancé / boyfriend of nine years got down on one knee on the island of Maui and asked me to be his wife. It was our first night in Hawaii, we had spent the afternoon at the beach and I had set a dinner at one of the restaurants that I had researched before our trip. The restaurant marketed itself as “the best view in Maui,” and I had requested a table outside right around the time of the sunset. Clue number one that through me off the track.

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I am the planner in our relationship, I take on planning vacations, dinners, holidays, the works. So, on the night that he was planning to propose, he didn’t try to shake that up. In the back of my mind, I was wishing, hoping and praying that this would be the night, but this wasn’t the first time these thoughts had crossed my mind. The fact that he just seemed to be wholly unprepared, not taking over any of the planning to ensure that ‘perfect night’ suppressed my hopes. “He isn’t ready yet,” my family told me. I was frustrated, because I knew that I was ready, but relationships are a two way street and marriage is a huge step. So I had to give him the time he needed. But, living up to every expectation, he made my dream come true, and as the sky turned shades of purple, pink and gold, we posed for a photo and he turned to me, got down on one knee and said, “Will you marry me?”

I definitely had the engagement itch. After nine years together, we both knew we were intending to spend the rest of our lives together. But, we’re young. We were high school sweet hearts, and have been together since we were 16 years old. It’s kind of funny, when you move through life with someone from such a young age. When new friends, coworker or acquaintances come into your life and ask you how long you have beentogether, it’s usually always followed by a “well, what the hell are you waiting for!” type of question. But, on the other side, you are faced with the, “oh, you’re just so young” comments as well, as soon as you mention your age. We fell into that strange demographic, which confused even us as to what our timeline for the future was going to be. But, I knew I was ready, he felt the same, and the night we got engaged will always be one of my favorite nights to remember.

 

Maui is a special place. It’s beautiful, quiet, peaceful and serene. For me, this is an important part of the memory for our engagement. Of course, the painted sky and palm trees didn’t hurt for the photographs of these special, life changing moments. But something else that I took away from my engagement is the special place that Maui will always be to us.

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We were lucky enough to take home some of the memories of one of the best getaways we ever experienced. We did a mini photo shoot on the beach in Wailea, and I mean, could sunset photos on a Hawaiian beach ever not live up to the expectation? If you get engaged at any destination,I highly recommend scheduling a shoot to take home a forever memory of this special time. While I toyed with the idea and almost decided not to go through with it, this was one of the best investments on our fairytale trip to Maui!